My school week consisted of just Monday and Tuesday this week. I’m attending SIGCSE for the remainder of the week to promote the Imagine Cup to CS Educators. Malisa picked me up from DePauw Tuesday night to make for an easier commute to the airport come Wednesday morning. With it essentially being a Friday, Malisa and John declared it a Big Bang Theory marathon night. As marathon style is the only way I’ve watched the Big Bang Theory, I was totally okay with this.

We watched Season 2, which I didn’t realize is the same season I marathoned before until the end of the first disk. Around 11 PM, after switching to the second disk, my phone began to rang. Malisa and John were laughing and talking about the end of an episode. I went from in the moment to being outside it when I saw “Kevin (Eve’s sist…” on my phone.

Kevin is my uncle Rick’s sister-in-law. We exchanged numbers last Saturday, since she lives a town away from DePauw and could give me a ride to the hospital come when Rick is matched with a heart. It was the only reason she would be calling me.

They found a heart. They found a fucking heart. A heart!

I was flying to Milwaukee at 10 AM!

I had to hang up, because I needed my parents to tell me what to do.

When my dad picked up, he was totally calm. I had to double check that he knew. He told me to still go to Milwaukee, which I took to mean to stay put. I made him put Mom on the phone to see if she would say the same thing; she did. We discussed how my mom didn’t feel well. How today was Tuesday, so Dad had already been to Indy once today since Tuesdays have been his visit Rick days. Even though we knew Dad was going back, Mom said how he hadn’t decided yet. I hung up to call Kevin to let her know I was staying put. Mom was calling my sister to let her know of the news.

I returned to living room to tell Malisa and John. I sat back down and sent text messages as I waited for AJ to find out so I could send happy day tweets and update my Facebook status.

My 15 year old brother updated his status to say he was going to Indy and shortly thereafter I heard from AJ. She had been in a practice room when my mom called. She didn’t initially put it together that it was 11 PM at home and answered nonchalantly. She returned to her boyfriend’s practice room in a bit of shock.

We talked as she ate. At that point we both were staying put. Eventually we both started texting people and she needed to go practice, so we hung up. I began thinking how if my brother was skipping school, since my parents left Fort Wayne around 11:15 PM, then I could go and someone could just drive me to the airport come morning.

My mom called to let me know everyone was going and I told her I wanted to go. I called Kevin and caught her in time to deviate from her path to pick me up. She’d already been pulled over by a cop. I told her to breathe. The cop was awesome and let her go after telling her to be safe especially with her child in the car.

I was wide awake waiting for Kevin to get there. We chatted the entire way to the hospital. My grandparents and Eve’s ex-step-mom were in the waiting room when we got there. Eve was with Rick. My aunt and uncle came in shortly thereafter. I called my parents and they were less than 20 minutes away.

We all gathered in Rick’s room. The nurses began the blood transfusions, which from what I understand were necessary since he had been taking blood thinners. At some point my cousins (Rick’s boys) got there. The nurses brought in extra chairs, including the shower chair.

Rick’s room had to be emptied of his personal belongings, which took a lot of bags since he’s been at Methodist for four months this week. Once the room was emptied and after Rick had to shave before the final sterilizing of his skin, the adults began to nod off. My mom, aunt, and uncle all fell asleep in chairs in Rick’s room. The cousins were still up, but I couldn’t leave my rolly chair, since my dad was leaning on it from the shower chair nodding in and out.

I can’t remember when I left, but I joined the grandparents in the small waiting room. That’s the room near the critical care for heart patients. At night, there are a number of people that sleep there. I sat down next to my grandpa and talked to him for a bit, but fell asleep pretty quickly once I wrapped up in my blanket. This was around either 4 or 5 AM. When I woke up, my grandpa was asleep. I moved to a chair by myself to curl up in a ball since my legs were asleep. I woke up again when my feet were asleep and moved to one of the love seats, where I slept until 7 AM.

At that time I returned to Rick’s room and found out that once they switched from the portable VAD to the giant hospital VAD, he’d be taken to the surgery wing. We began to gather in the hallway. My cousin Travis was trying to write a final blog post saying Rick was actually being taken to surgery when Rick’s bed was wheeled out. For a moment we couldn’t find my dad; he had run out to the car to eat breakfast. We followed Rick’s bed down the hallway. I had to fight back tears once or twice when the surgery wing came into view. This was real.

We said our good lucks and good byes. I had thanked Rick back in his room for getting this show on the road before I had to leave for the airport. As Rick was rolled through the doors and we began to all move to the surgery waiting room, the actual surgeon came up to Eve to say a few things. The heart wasn’t the perfect match, but he needs it. He was well rested.

We all put down everything we were carrying. My mom and I grabbed breakfast. I ate just a bowl of Cocoa Puffs, because my mom wanted to leave at 8:15 AM for the airport. My dad went to buy my brother breakfast before we left. We joked that my brother may have ended up with $6 since my mom gave him money before my dad decided to go with him to pay.

Then we left for the airport. The closer we got to the airport, the more tired I got. I was just glad I was getting there before Malisa so I could drop my blanket off in her car. I fell asleep the moment the plane took off. I had already decided it was Malisa’s job to think for me today. We ate breakfast at the hotel, and I slept for five hours. (Actually, we both did.) I got texts while I was sleeping that said things were going well.

It wasn’t until dinner late tonight I finally talked to my mom about the surgery. It was during the Microsoft crew dinner, and someone was speaking to all of us when she called. Thinking about it now, I’m glad I was by the door, since I tore out of there to hear the details.

What a difference this had been. Finally it was all hope and not dread.

So now we wait. For good things. Finally.

This will come as a complete shock to anyone who has spoken to me in the last, oh, four to six years about where I saw myself after college.  I have been bound and determined to end up in Fort Wayne.  I love this city.  Yes, even with all its flaws.  I mean, it’s Fort Wayne.  My favorite description (not because I like it, but because it’s accurate) is that Fort Wayne is a large small town.

So, I had this conviction that I would be here.  My first year of college, I took care of homesickness with photos surrounding me and subscribing to The Journal Gazette’s RSS feeds.  (I grew up on The News-Sentinel, but they didn’t have any RSS feeds at the time.  They do now, but one that I can find.  The JG has different categories.)  Man, I was more up to date on what was up in Fort Wayne than my dad.  Then sometime during my sophomore year I discovered Fort Wayne bloggers.  Since I love getting info from blogs, a whole bunch of them ended up in my feed reader, too.  During my junior year, I was so excited to be up to date on what was going on in FW.  I have lived out of Fort Wayne since graduating high school, and since this past summer I have been home.  I knew what was up, and had all sorts of plans (which about 25% occurred).

Then I began to look for my “Real Job” as I have tagged all the related emails.

Now, I had done serious legwork in the past three years searching out opportunities in Fort Wayne.  In fact, that’s why I was home this summer and fall: two internships.  Also, I found a company I was totally excited about the prospect of working for.

At first, I applied to companies outside of Fort Wayne to have better chances of obtaining a job offer, and because the jobs found via DePauw are all outside of Fort Wayne.  When things started to get serious, I had a conversation with Kenny that completely caught me off guard: “Ashley, you were the one who wanted to live in Fort Wayne.  I am fine living elsewhere for a while.”

Oh.

Then it dawned on me I could get a job ANYWHERE.

Whoa.  Whoa, whoa, whoa.  Anywhere?  (Okay, so Kenny’s probably really glad it didn’t actually end up being ANYWHERE, because I was totally feeling the desert climate of Arizona during GHC.)

Now, back in May during the Imagine Cup, the Microsoft Campus Recruiter for DePauw sent a, “Hey, I exist,” email.  We were smack in the middle of the competition in Boston, so I went, “Oh, that’s sweet,” and promptly forgot about it.

Then at the end of the summer, the Campus Recruiter contacted me again to see if I was interested in applying.  Sure, why the heck not?  It’d be sweet to be able to say, “I got an offer from Microsoft.”  (Obviously, at this point I was totally still staying in town.)

I did my phone interview, it went well, a Redmond interview was mentioned, and then a month and a half went past.  In this time frame, the job hunt ramped up in terms of getting to the point of receiving offers from the companies to which I had applied.

Then out of the blue I received an email detailing my on site interview at Microsoft in less than two weeks.

PANIC.

It was shortly before that when I realized I could work anywhere, and that this wasn’t just for props anymore.  I had serious reservations about living elsewhere, specifically because I felt I was giving Kenny no choice since he still had a year of school left.  It took him a long time to convince me that he’s totally cool with that big of a distance from Fort Wayne (I still don’t fully believe him).

So, next summer I will begin working as a Software Development Engineer in Test (SDET) on InfoPath at Microsoft’s Redmond campus.

It hasn’t sunken in yet.  This is mostly because my uncle had his heart attack less than twelve hours after I got back from the interview, and I’m in wait for next change (end of internship) mode.  But I have now officially accepted the offer, and can begin letting folks know.  This is to attempt to avoid another situation such as how Ed found out.

Ashley: “At least Kenny will like that it snows less in Seattle.”
Ed: *silence* “What’s all this talk about Seattle?”

Go me.  (I was planning on tell her in person, and instead told her over the phone the day I was going to see her.  FAIL.)

I am finding that in my email conversations of late, I ask people to donate blood and make their loved ones aware if they are willing to be a tissue and organ donor. I always include a link to where people learn more and register their willingness. Donnie Sendelbach, Director of ITAP at DePauw, asked me what she could do, and I asked her to pass on my request to the rest of ITAP which she did. That made me happy.

I think a key thing is letting your loved ones know of your wish.

The legal thing folks need to do is get themselves on their state’s registry. Even if you have a little heart on your driver’s license, it is encouraged that you register.

The Canadian site for organ donations reiterates it is vital to let your family know. Since I know I have at least one Canadian reader, this site has all the details for your country.

If you are willing to be a tissue and organ donor, declare so in the comments!

I admit I am a hypocrite on the blood donation request. Around the time I had mono, I began to pass out for essentially every vaccine or shot I had. It’s not a fear of needles, though at this point it’s a chicken or the egg scenario since I now stress about getting shots.

First Pass Out
The first time it happened, I had driven by myself to the doctor to get two vaccinations required for college. It was the second shot that did me in. Immediately after they administrated it, my stomach felt a bit woozy. I forgot about it as the doctor and I finished our conversation, and the nurse gave me my chart to check out. I walked down the hall, waited as the person in front of me checked out, and handed the receptionist my chart when it was my turn. While at the counter, all I remember is the receptionist asking me, “Are you okay?” All I could do was shake my head as I tried to stay upright. Somehow she got outside where I was with her office chair to catch me.

Worst Pass Out
The worst one ever was the local anesthesia used on my wrist when they drained my ganglion cyst. I was sitting in the chair next to the bed thing in doctor’s offices, because I always feel silly waiting sitting on that while fully clothed. The doctor came in and began setting me up and asked half way through his prep whether I’d prefer to lay down. I said, “I don’t care,” not putting together what this procedure was: lots of (okay, two) needles poking into me. The moment the local went in I told the doc, “I have to lay down. Now.” Poor guy. He had used the bed to lay out all his instruments. In my head he swept everything off the bed; I assume he actually moved them to the counter. It took me a half-hour to be able to sit up. It was not good.

This is why I’m convinced that giving blood is not a good plan on my part. However, with this going on with Rick, I think I want to try. Even if it means I have to lay around for the rest of the day. My mother is, rightly so, making me call and check in with the phone nurse first.

It gives me a little control in the situation. I can willingly do this.

This week must be better.

I would say it’s already off to a significantly better start. I never explained what was up, and since we’re keeping a public blog to provide people updates, I’ll quit being so vague.

My uncle Rick who is only 46 years old suffered a massive heart attack on Sunday, November 8. Sunday my mom woke me to the news. Monday my mom woke me to say he got worse. Tuesday and Wednesday he wasn’t getting better, and Wednesday night they put him on a ventilator. Which the nurse really wanted my family to call a “higher form of oxygen therapy” since TV shows only show ventilators being used as life support. Thursday my mom woke me AGAIN and thus far that was the worst day. The previous two times of being woke up, members of my family took time to shower. This time after simply visiting the bathroom to pee, brush my teeth, and wash my face, everyone in my house was gone.

That day he was transferred from Fort Wayne to Methodist in Indianapolis in the case he needed a heart transplant. HOWEVER, since that day we’ve stopped receiving more bad news than good. On Saturday they removed the balloon pump they had put in his heart the previous Monday. Today they finally took him off the ventilator! Which means he’ll finally be weaned off sedation! Man, he’s in for quite the shock about what’s happened since being put on the vent.

So, please hold for a moment while I do a happy dance.

*Dance Dance Dance*

Alrighty. Today I leave for PDC, which is kinda rough seeing as I missed way too many days of work last week. However, I am determined to enjoy this week as the stress from last week was exhausting. (Meaning, Rick, you best continue on your upswing. Just saying.)

More details to come!

My family can’t keep the days straight right now. I keep thinking it’s Wednesday, my mom keeps thinking it’s Thursday or Friday. Last night I was on the phone with Kenny, and thought I had left him an update voice mail the day before. Nope, left it that morning. The days feel so long.

I can’t figure out how to react. Earlier today I put the ‘good’ of ‘good news’ in quotations. Turns out that was an appropriate decision. The family member in the hospital’s status is very much day-to-day. Parts of the news is good, parts of the news isn’t. It’d be easier if the not so good news would stop.

Twitter friend told me it’s natural to not know how to react. Made me realize this is the first time dealing with this. When it was the elder members of the family, that was acceptable. Was expected. This is not.

I guess it’s day-to-day on the emotions. Suckfest.

I know I’m overwhelmed when I can’t look at my email except for immediate action items.

Everything was dropped for the family member at the hospital. Nothing else mattered in that moment. It was just making sure all the family was okay or as okay as we could be.

This also now involves monitoring Facebook. First, my sister found out via Facebook from the youngest (10 years old) cousin’s status update, since she left her phone upstairs. (It did make her finally call us.) Now, my younger cousins and my younger brother have vaguely referenced said family member being in the hospital. There’s a section of my family that I just became Facebook friends with in the past six months, and we don’t often see each other despite living in the same city. It consists mostly of my dad’s cousins, and they see the random mentions and go, “What? Is that family member alright? What hospital? What happened?”

I sent a detailed FB message to the oldest cousin, since I don’t have her email address, and asked her to let her siblings and families know. It was a rather disjointed message, but I’m pretty sure it got the important details. I’ll send her another update tonight, since at this point it’s “good” news.

It’s really bizarre spreading that information via Facebook. But it’s not like we’ve had some organized means of spreading the information in the first place. It’s also hard deciding what information is appropriate to share, but I figured sending a message is better than no information at all. This also saved the immediate family and parents from dealing with inquiries. At least, hopefully it did anyways. We’ll see what my parents have to say on how I dealt with it. I just know, I’d want to know what the heck was going on.

I think I may bring a print out of the shout outs of thoughts and prayers on said family member’s wall to the hospital. If the family member is asleep, it’ll be for the spouse and kids.

Unfortunately, I already felt behind at work due to time off for the job hunt combined with my upcoming week in LA for PDC. And I’m starving. I was walking to a meeting with frozen food, and I needed to put it in a freezer. A co-worker told me to put it in this fridge on the floor I work on. I did, except that used to just be an employee’s lounge and now doubles as a conference room. So I’ve been waiting for a meeting to finish. I may give up and interrupt, cause my hunger is distracting.

Any day where one wakes up to family running to the hospital cannot be considered good.

Family member at hospital is stable.

It was reassuring when I got there to see my entire family.  Grandparents, aunts, uncles, parents, cousins.  (Well, minimal amounts of cousins, since those under eighteen aren’t currently allowed in due to the H1N1 flu.)  Good chunk of the younger cousins end up at my house, because we live two blocks from the hospital.  Thank god it was a beautiful day out so we could just walk over and not worry about parking and parking fees.